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lyrics

There is a man outside the gates holding a sign that reads, “God’s judgment is at hand.” His voice is ragged with his shouts. “This carnival, this den of sin will leave you damned!” I know the lines of that man’s face nearly better than my own. I hear that self-same voice restored almost to youth, though it was never truly young.

When we tear down here, burn the lot. Rig the games, take what you want. Fear not we’ll be remembered, we’re never coming back to this one. When I left I swore not to return. This town is not my home. If they brand me as an outcast, I’ll wear it as a badge of pride.

He used to shout, “Boy, you are less than half a man! In fact, you are no man at all. You are a freak, you and your sister, a waste of my wages and an insult to the Lord.” My deformities were held the cause for every trouble in our home. He laid his proclivity for drink (and our mother’s for her ether) at my door.

On the morning that my sister disappeared, my father shouted for his gin. I brought the bottle from the cellar, mixed in with my mother’s medicine. As his breathing slowed, I deftly went to work with knife and ink. Before I left, I murmured to his sleeping face, “Now you’re as much a freak as me.”

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from Presenting The Hollow Hearts Carnival, released July 15, 2016

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Step Right Up! Chandler, Arizona

The story of an 1800s traveling carnival and the wreckage left in its wake.

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